I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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