he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
