Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
