i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
