I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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