Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
