i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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