I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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