Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
