you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
