I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
