i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
