My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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