The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
it's like iHOP with fire
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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