Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
