O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
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