how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
