He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
His hands were made for my vagina.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize