Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
