i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
