I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
