I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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