You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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