No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
