i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
