quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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