ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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