Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
