My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
