Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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