For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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