I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
