I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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