Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
