She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
nutella sex= disaster
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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