I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
