I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
