Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
