Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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