this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
