I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
