I puked a lego.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
