does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
