Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize