So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
