spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
wow bdsm is so cute
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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