I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
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you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Randomize