i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
