you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
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i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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