Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I just had sex on a roof
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
