i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
