He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
