I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
