Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
