if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
