DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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