either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
