I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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