Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
