Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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