I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
