So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
